Baron Berlusconi X Resigns

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Published on: November 11, 2011

The first of the Baronage from the 10th Dynasty has fallen.

This week Baron Berlusconi X, leader of the Vendel systems, announced his resignation. Sitting in his “regal chair,” he made the proclamation from his throne room on Quaglioni Station. The baron was a dividing force in the Vendel systems and across Eurysa. Accused of sordid sex scandals, lying in baronial court, and soliciting juvenile prostitutes at lavish parties, the baron dropped bomb after bomb during his final speech.

In his last address to his people, he said he will never surrender and would “double his efforts” to influence the economy and the lives of his inhabitants. Defiant and arrogant to the end, he defended his recent actions that crippled the poor while maintaining his media empire’s profits. He swore to return to his rightful throne.

Elsewhere in the galaxy, moguls have been disposed by their populaces right and left, but the baron is the first of the elite baronies to succumb to pressure to step down.

When the business portion of the broadcast finished, Baron Berlusconi, quite surprisingly, unloaded his final salvo. He dedicated and released an album of romantic love songs he recorded for the public. He crooned over Vendel classics and love ballads from the 4th Dynasty — a period of historic growth and enlightenment. Like one giant slap in the face, the baron seemed to mock the very institution of love itself — given his perverse fetishes and failed relationships. With that, he gave one last Vendel farewell and faded from the spotlight, if only for one moment in time.


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