KrocDonalds Celebrates Monumental Anniversary But No One Knows Why

Categories: New Martian Times
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Published on: November 26, 2006

Although plagued by recent law suits that highly processed rations cause obesity, or that the drinks cause severe burns, or that the fries contain unpublicized foreign materials, or that the company knowingly exploits children with their advertising, KrocDonalds announced a historic anniversary. No one was sure what was so historic about it though. Still, through ups and downs, KrocDonalds has continued to evolve in a galaxy ripe with change and conflict.

After the Second Galactic War, Mogul KrocDonald started his business at the Commodore Station. His all-male staff catered to the station’s busy workers. Day after day, the station’s employees and shuttle pilots were fed the same food prepared in the same manner from the same menu in the same environment. Nothing changed at KrocDonalds.

The efficient and consistent service was the key to KrocDonalds early success. High-fat rations were served in an assembly-line style. When KrocDonalds began marketing children, they sealed their dynasty.

KrocDonalds has forever changed the way the galaxy does business. Its business model produces a minimal product for a minimal price-thereby selling by volume to make a profit. They were one of the first to have every step of production controlled by a barony. They manufacture, they distribute, they ship, they cook, and they sell.

Now, the "Golden K" is everywhere in the galaxy. One can find a KrocDonalds in the farthest reaches of the galaxy. There is even a KrocDonalds on Samsa.

Many baronies have used KrocDonalds to bring the Baronage system of government to the various worlds. In order for a KrocDonalds to open on a space station or planet, they must be controlled by the Baronage first. Many baronies have resented this policy, but that hasn’t noticeably slowed growth or sales.

In these hostile pockets of dissent, KrocDonalds is perceived to be a blight on the people because of the incredible waste just one restaurant generates. On some stations, inhabitants have ransacked and protested a store that was being built. In the eastern galaxy, a KrocDonalds restaurant was the target of a bomb blast. In these fierce areas of demonstration, KrocDonalds has decided not celebrate their monumental anniversary.

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