Poison: It’s Natural!

Categories: The Austere Publisher
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Published on: June 24, 2011

When it comes to healthy liquids, there are many natural salves to choose from. Waters and juices are needed for human existence, certain teas have healing and medicinal properties, and even the liquid form of vitamins can do some good. What has never been proven, in any capacity, is the healing power of noxious liquid called fallahyde. In fact this poisonous substance – used mainly in building equipment and medical research – is slowly being banned by Kroy Environmentalists for its long-term health implications. But fallahyde’s recent listing on the Kroy Barony’s ranking of dangerous carcinogens is not going to stop Mogul Koch, who are saying that because fallahyde is found in nature, it must be healthy.

Most Kroy citizens have only seen fallahyde in its purest form during their primary education science classes. While the chemical is found in nature and has many excellent properties of preservation, its raw form is generally restricted to the public. Long since thought harmful in large doses, a definite decision from Kroy lawmakers on if it was actually dangerous was years in the making. And with the recent ruling of fallahyde as a dangerous chemical, there has been a backlash against the ruling. Institutions like the Kroy Chemistry Council have created sites detailing the facts about fallahyde and why it is healthy.

While this debate seems to be a spirited discussion on two sides of an issue, it is actually the worst kind of marketing guerrilla tactics. The Kroy Chemistry Council’s website is actually run by, and financed by, Mogul Koch. The Koch Moguls have a monopoly on the fallahyde market and have been enjoying the subsidies of a supposedly 500 billion krohl market in fallahyde-processed construction materials. Having pushed back against government lawmakers for years against fallahyde’s classification as a harmful chemical, they now have no other choice but to go on the offensive.

It almost seems ridiculous that the classification of a poisonous substance must be argued against. While fallahyde is metabolized quickly by the human body and does not kill by cumulative exposure, it is deadly in the smallest doses. Even one spoonful of fallahyde can kill a fully grown adult, regardless of how they are exposed to it. Regular exposure in the air has done everything from cause eye irritation to stop menstrual cycles to cause fetuses to spontaneously abort, to greatly raise the risk of cancer and leukemia.

But the news sites run by Mogul Koch state that there is nothing to fear from Fallahyde exposure. Fallahyde is produced by vegetation on most Kroy planets, so it must be healthy. And fallahyde is found in cosmetics that are used everyday, so it cannot be something that we’ve already been exposed to before. What the sites do not go into is the fact that other poisons like arsenic and galactic radiation are naturally occurring, but that it is the man-made overexposure to these substances that turns them into a health risk.

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