Was the “Race to the Galactic Core” a hoax?

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Published on: July 24, 2009

In the 9th Dynasty, Mogul Kennedy had the vision to lead Kroy in the “Race to the Galactic Core.” Rhosia already sent cosmic pilots near the Core using Kalsan FTSL (faster-than-the-speed-of-light) technology and was pushing hard to boost their own Prometheus rocket program. Kroy was not going to be left behind in the galactic dust.

The Kroy baronies completed a total of six Ranger missions with 12 crew to the “absolute center” of the Milky Way Galaxy. Program set-backs included a fiery launch pad that resulted in three deaths, and an in-space explosion that hampered a shuttle. Although Ranger 11–the very first mission–used technologies less advanced than a standard galactic phone, the legacy of the program yielded many scientific and technological advances.

Integrated, dimensional warp circuits and the anti-matter fuel cell were spawned from the research and development that supported Ranger. The universal gadgets developed using these components have been speeding communications, injecting a rocket booster of energy into business, and creating a meteoric shower of improvements in life as we know it.

A contingent of skeptics has been accusing the Baronage of fabricating these landings, asserting they were filmed on a Sparklestation studio lot. Others believe that Ranger 11 passed near the absolute center of the Core, but never actually made it there. Still more speculate that radiation belts, extreme gravitational pulls, solar flares, solar wind, and cosmic rays made such a trip impossible.

The conspiracy theorists cite that Kroy could not afford to let Rhosia attain the prestige associated with being first to successfully make this journey. Others claim that the risk of failure was too great, calculating the success probability to be 0.017%.

After years of speculation, the evidence continues to mount on both sides of this galactic argument. It almost makes me wonder whether my latest gadgets and appliances were also “fabricated.”

Pondering this at length, I’ve come to the conclusion that anyone who seriously thinks the Baronage scammed the people must have moon rocks in their head.

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